How many of you out there look at your reflection in the mirror and not recognize the person? Maybe its the absence of the image of who you wanted to be. Each day those subtle changes become more noticeable.
The lines running across your face here and there, bags under your eyes from the lack of sleep. Day after day you see the same person who you do not know, this feeling is fostered day in and day out and yet it rests below a boiling surface.
Eventually the spill over occurs and now you’ve let some of your secret out to those around you and you are viewed now as someone particularly not healthy to be around. I kept it below the surface for over 20 years and I thought I could continue until my final breath.
The cracks slowly grew, revealing more of what lies beneath and it gets to the point where you become and easy person to read.
At age 30 the fight became too much and I was in fear of spiraling out of control into a state of no return. I still awoke each morning and pushed through each day, they all seemed the same.
Now at 33 I feel no different other than the medications I take help bury some of those feeling, but the scary thing is that they are only suppressed.
I can understand why some take that walk into the sun, its something that I cannot explain in words only those who know depression can relate.